she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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