Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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