My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize