SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
