god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
