Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
My penis needs a shock collar
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
