Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
