We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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