i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
