Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
