isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
