mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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