After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
