no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
