apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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