Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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