i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Randomize
