I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
