I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
