she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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