The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
