Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
