Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize
