I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
