The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
