Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
