so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I feel like a drive thru vagina
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
