Rock
Scissors
Fuck
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
