my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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