CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
