so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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