there's paper in my vomit.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
