you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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