Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Randomize