Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Send help, water and tortillas.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
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