Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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