you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
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