i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
