she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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