my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Randomize
