a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
