Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
