HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
