he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i will never coherently bang her
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
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