DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
