I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Shame is for Republicans.
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