2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
