used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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