ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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