ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
