i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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