I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
