3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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