oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
