This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
