let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
