Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Randomize
