And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize
