i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
