he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
