So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
