I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
