He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
