i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
