Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Randomize
