I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Randomize
