Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
