I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize