I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize