can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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