I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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