Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize