I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
