Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
