is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
