Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
