to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Randomize
