I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
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