last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
