I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
