Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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