I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
