I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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